Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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