theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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