No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
