My first STD was from a foam party
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
