You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
