I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
