my mouth tastes like poor choices
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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