I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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