I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
