apparently the secret to your success is patron
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
