Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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