we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
