i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
