don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
