id be glad to
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
