yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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