So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
