I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize