Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
