There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
