Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
