your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
