it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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