$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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