He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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