I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
