Will you blow on my dice?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
