Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize