I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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