Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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