you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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