just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
