Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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