we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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