I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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