i just google imaged poop.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
