I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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