I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
