physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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