Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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