her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
