he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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