I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize
