Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize