I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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