Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
