Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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