i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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