i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
