i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
