My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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