I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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