forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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