in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
