I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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