Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
