Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
