please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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