what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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