mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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