Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Still dying that you shit outside
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
