If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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