Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
