jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sarcasm needs its own font
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
