Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
