Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i will never coherently bang her
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
