all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
