We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize